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I missed them so much! <3 <3 <3
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EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION PHILIPPINES
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Notes How To Handle A Relationship With An Emotionally Unavailable PersonLearn To Understand Emotionally Unavailable People
Women across America can thank Sarah Jessica Parker, who played the much-loved and emulated character Carrie Bradshaw on television’s “Sex and the City,” for romanticizing the chase between a willing woman and an emotionally unavailable man.
We have all had a “Mr. Big” in our lives, but it rarely ends like on television — with him declaring his undying love for us underneath the night sky in Paris.
But even if you do get the guy, it does not guarantee him opening up to you or becoming emotionally available once the wedding is over.
It’s unfair to put all the blame on men, though; there are just as many emotionally unavailable women who want to remain focused on their careers, needs and wants, and cannot be bothered by giving any particular relationship their all.
So what’s the deal with emotionally unavailable people? Find out why some people are emotionally unavailable and how to deal with someone who has difficulty expressing emotions.Characteristics of an Emotionally Unavailable Person
The main characteristic that both men and women share is their fear of being controlled, especially in a relationship setting.
For men in particular, a consuming fear is “losing” themselves in a relationship. Those who are emotionally unavailable also tend to fear and avoid intimacy and are incredibly sensitive to the feeling of being “clung to” or controlled by their romantic partner.
Many assume that emotionally unavailable people choose to reject love or serious relationships because they want to remain single. It’s rarely a choice; it’s more like a defense mechanism that is often subconscious.
As if being unable to healthily connect in a relationship weren’t bad enough, those who suffer from this inability also have to deal with a painful and ironic twist of fate: emotionally unavailable people usually want a connection the most, but are too afraid to establish one.Dr. Mark Fromm, a San Francisco based psychologist, believes that the core issue for emotionally unavailable people is intimacy, and the problem can usually be traced back to painful or problematic experiences with a family member.
“Being emotionally close with another person is synonymous to being smothered or losing themselves,” Fromm said. “It’s a way to avoid their ultimate fear of allowing someone in, allowing someone to get to know them - and then having that person reject them or abuse their trust.”
Don’t be fooled, however. Not all emotionally unavailable people are life-long bachelors or bachelorettes. There are emotionally unavailable people who are in serious relationships or who are married.
If you are the spouse of an emotionally unavailable person or are dating one, chances are you often feel as if your needs and wants in the relationship are not being met. Those involved with emotionally unavailable people routinely report feeling that their love is one-sided and that they often express more affection, care and commitment than they receive.
Some have even likened their partner’s apparent lack of care, love or concern to emotional abuse because it makes them feel worthless.Why People are Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Partners
Why would any sane person stay in this type of relationship?
Often, the spouse of an emotionally unavailable person has complicated emotional problems of his or her own. Their reasons vary, from having low self-esteem to childhood trauma that led them to believe they do not deserve good things in life.
Laura Peterson, a relationship expert in the Los Angeles area, counsels couples regarding intimacy issues.
“The wives of emotionally unavailable men are very patient in the way they understand their spouse loves them, but he just has problems expressing it,” Peterson said. “Though their patience is never enough to make the problem go away, partners in marriage need to know they are loved and wanted and they need to hear it and feel it.”It is difficult to tell when people are emotionally unavailable, especially when they are in their early to mid-20s.
There are many young men or women who make the mistake of thinking that their partner is emotionally unavailable because they do not want a serious relationship or are unable to commit.
Rarely are they correct in their assumptions because at that age, it is completely normal to want to maintain a sense of independence and to be apprehensive about settling down.
It becomes more obvious that a person has intimacy issues or is emotionally unavailable once they reach their 30s. A very telling indicator of emotional unavailability is if the person has not yet had a serious, long-term or monogamous relationship by the time they are in their 30s.
Treatment for Emotionally Unavailable People
If you are involved with an emotionally unavailable person, your relationship is not necessarily beyond repair.Bringing up the topic of counseling is always a viable option, but the likelihood of your significant other accepting it may not be very good.
If you make it clear to your partner that your feelings for him or her are sincere and that you want to attend counseling to improve your relationship - and your mate rejects your advances to fix the relationship - you should consider yourself lucky.
You are learning in advance, before marriage or children, that this person is not ready to change his or her lifestyle to make you, or anyone else, feel loved and cared for.
Many are not as fortunate and end up marrying an emotionally unavailable person only to become involved in a marriage that leaves them feeling unfulfilled and unloved.“If you’re married to an emotionally unavailable person, you should alwaysconsider marriage counseling before you make the final decision of separating or getting a divorce,” Peterson said. “I’ve seen marriage counseling be very beneficial to people with these kinds of problems.”
In marriage counseling, when each person expresses his or her thoughts and feelings about the relationship in front of a trained professional whose job it is to remain objective, new light is shed on the problems in the marriage. The emotionally unavailable partner may feel more inclined to present his or her side in a way that their partner can understand.
Also, the person suffering in the relationship because of their partner’s emotional unavailability can openly discuss the pain it causes without the fear of being tuned out or dismissed.
“Oddly enough, it sometimes takes a professional sitting there and witnessing the spouse’s frustration and pain for the emotionally unavailable partner to realize the kind of pain they are inflicting,” Fromm said.The decision to continue the relationship is ultimately up to the person involved with the emotionally unavailable partner, but there comes a time when everyone has to realize their self worth and take into account their own feelings.
It is also important to keep in mind that if you have children with a man or woman who is emotionally unavailable, your children can pick up certain attitudes and beliefs about relationships that cause them to become emotionally unavailable to their partners when they are old enough to form intimate relationships.
“People won’t change if you love them or beg them or threaten them; they change when they are ready to change. If you’re with someone who is emotionally unavailable and you’re trying to make them change, it’s probably not going to work out,” Peterson said. -
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Knife Party
Come now, surely we can be friends?
I know so much about you
I love you, look at everything I’ve done for you
You would be nothing without me
Why won’t you answer me?
I bet you’re busy talking to some fucking slut
Fucking skank
Is she hotter than me?
Would you fuck me?
Are you gay?
You blocked me on Facebook
And now you’re going to die
Now you’re going to die
You blocked me on Facebook
And now you’re going to die
Now you’re going to die
You blocked me on Facebook -
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NotesKaty as Rikki → Raising Hope (2x16 Single White Female Role-Mode)
(Source: iheartkatyperry)
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DreamsThats where I have to goTo see your beautifulFace anymore I stare at a picture of youAnd listen to the radio
Hope, hope there’s a conversationWe both admit we had it goodBut until then its alienation I know that much is understood,And I realise..
If you ask me how I’m doingI would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mindBut I go out, and I sit down at a table set for twoAnd finally I’m forced to face the truthNo matter what I say I’m..
Not over you,Not over you
Damn, damn girl you do it well, and I thought you were innocentTook this heart and put it through hell, but still your magnificentI, I’m a boomerang, doesn’t matter how you throw meI turn around and I’m back in the game, even better than the old meBut I’m not even close without youIf you ask me how I’m doingI would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mindBut I go out, and I sit down at a table set for twoAnd finally I’m forced to face the truthNo matter what I say I’m..
Not over you
And if I had the chance to re-newYou know there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t doI could get back, on the right trackBut only if you’d be convincedSo until then..
If you ask me how I’m doingI would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mindBut I go out, and I sit down at a table set for twoAnd finally I’m forced to face the truthNo matter what I say I’m..
Not over youNot over youNot over youNot over you -
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HAPPY 55th ANNIVERSARY TO MY GRANDPARENTS ♥
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“Melt My Heart To Stone”
Right under my feet there’s air made of bricks
Pulls me down turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I fall back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You’ve burnt my heart to stone
And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love
Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I’m standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead
Well I hear your words you made up
I say your name like there should be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love -
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I love torturing myself to sleep.
I put our favorite songs on repeat and cry myself to sleep.
I really miss you….
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Notes Loving Someone UnconditionallyGiving unconditional love requires you to love without any expectations. It seems difficult to only love and not demand anything in return in today’s world where everyone is selfish and egotistic. But even in this world we see many examples of unconditional love, for example the love of a mother to her child, the love between two life partners and the love bestowed upon siblings. Loving someone unconditionally means we have to learn how to sacrifice our selves, our desires, and most importantly our egos for we are not suppose to expect anything from the person we love.
It’s true that love makes its way itself. When we love somebody with so much passion and emotion, it’s sure to come round in one way or another. But if somehow we don’t get as much as we give, we must realize not to complain or argue because in order to love someone else unconditionally, we must first love ourselves and accept the fact that as humans we all have faults and blemishes, and will inevitably make mistakes. We must be aware of our own imperfections and realize that since we are not perfect, others won’t be either. Always keep in mind that loving others and giving them everything we have will make us satisfied and happy with ourselves.
At some point in our lives we all demand some kind of love and want to express our own love for someone. Believe in the principle of giving more and demanding less. When someone asks you for a favor always be ready to give it. Never complain that you don’t have enough or you have other tasks to do. Set your priorities in such a way that everyone else comes first and your own demands come last.Let us keep in our hearts that when we love somebody unconditionally, we want the best for that person. Think positively about them even if they make mistakes or do not return our feelings. Give them sincere advice about their future and other decisions. Always look around for the betterment of your loved ones without any envy on your part. If you have to sacrifice something of your own for them, don’t hesitate to do so. Only then you will truly be able to love unconditionally.
Remember that unconditional love is given without any expectations or limitations. We don’t define any scope of our love or that how long will we love a person. This is an eternal feeling which should be kept alive in all circumstances and all situations. We must never lose hope and keep on loving people who are dear and close to us, only then we will be able to live a completely satisfied and emotionally balanced life.
ALDRIN PURUGGANAN
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